Rough Patch

OK...so I think I've emerged from a rough patch I've had the last couple of days. Hormones are on some kind of overload and I feel like I'm in limbo...but least I quit crying. :) Turned my frown upside down and stickin to it...we hope. lol

OK...so last night was bad...bad bad bad...hormones overtook me and I could not right myself...the ship sank bad. I did 15 minutes on the elliptical and 15 on the treadmill and I was wiped. We took a break before the real work out and I did the first two exercises...and quit...just up and quit. I let Mike finish his but I couldn't. I sat there like a lump for a bit then I thought the sauna would help. Sweated my ass off for 5 minutes and didn't make any progress. Went and stood outside the front door just as the storm really blew in. I couldn't run from my internal storm however much I tried. I cried and watched the rain. I couldn't seem to hide from people. They kept trying to make sure I was OK. I know they are sweet but I needed to be left alone. So then I hid out in the locker room bathroom till Mike texted me that he was done. It was a BAD night hormonally for me. No real reason at all to cry...nothing...but I couldn't stop which pissed me off and made me cry more. Got home and finally was able to calm myself down...but woke up this morning mad at myself and mad at the world. Finally round lunch I snapped and decided that I was going to get back in control. And I think I am. Who knows.

But for this moment...I'm good. Not ecstatic or happy but I'm good. I'm going to try and push myself to get through our work out tonight...no matter what. Don't even think I'm getting on the scale tonight...don't need that added stress.

Here's to hoping Wade doesn't ask too many questions bout yesterday and takes at face value that I'm fine. Not 100%...can't talk bout it out loud...or tears may come back. Not 100%...but I'm good...and for now I'm fine with that. :)