I'm still tired and frustrated, I'm just trying to distract myself more right now. Cos when I don't distract myself I'm very close to just giving up the ghost. I feel like I'm throwing money onto a sinking ship and each month I just pile more and more on. It's not a problem I can throw money at and it fixes it...I wish it were that easy. Put a big bill in the vending machine and out pops an embryo that I can just pop on in. But instead it's a long drawn out, emotionally draining and exhausting process that seems to not give very positive results...I'm still a bit defeated.
Did a fasting insulin check this morning. Doc may want to up my metformin/Glucophage...I'm not looking forward to that. But I guess I have to give it another go if he says so. Last time when we got higher than where I am...all it seemed to do was make me insanely hungry and nauseous at the same time. With him at the time putting a big emphasis on me losing weight, I wasn't going for the ravenously hungry thing...cos I was only craving carbs. I'm losing weight cos I am cutting out carbs. We'll see what the results say. Cos if I can get my insulin low enough for him, next cycle, if this current one doesn't work, we can try the big guns...full on FSH shot. gonna be more and a larger possibility of multiple births...but right now I'm fine with that. Hell I'd love twins. I know I say that now but I truly think I'd be fine. They'll drive me batty for sure but I'll make due. That's if it even works.
I was joking with Nikky earlier...as well as I know my insides I should start naming them. lol Anyone got ideas for ovaries? Lucy and Ethel? Laurel & Hardy? (I know they aren't women's names but they are a pair...) I don't know. but I know each one very well lately and I just don't feel right calling them Lefty and Righty...so impersonal. The right one is definitely more the talker of the two. I hear from her a LOT more. Left is shy and hard to find. I know she has to work somewhat. When we were pregnant last year it came from the left side they said from the ultrasounds...I don't know
Coming up on the anniversary of actually getting pregnant. Maybe June is good for me. I can be distracted with it being our birthday month enough to be stress free...who knows...
Oh well...gotta figure something out sooner or later I guess. Let me know if anyone has ideas for names for the ladies...Hope everyone has a good and safe memorial day weekend!
