CD?? - A new start

Well so I screwed things up when I went off the pill early this past month but I just had to...just had to...really had no choice. Result is that we have no idea where we stand in the fact of where in a cycle I am. Went in to the Dr yesterday morning and we talked and he did his scan...cyst is gone so yay...even though he had a really difficult time locating Ethel...she's a shy girl...either that or she just likes to roam...or both really. Lining in my uterus was only 7mm so he didn't think I was getting to a point to start bleeding even...Hell I feel like I've spotted enough in the past two weeks to constitute a period almost...ugh

We talked about the stress that has been involved with the past IUI process...the money is most of the stress for me. Even if it's a loan that's a gift to me...it's still money...and nothing stresses me out more than money. I want to try these big guns he's proposed but that's adding another 450-500 bucks to the mix bringing the monthly tally up to a grand. I know it's not about the money...it's bout the chance to get pregnant...it doesn't matter how I look at it though...I see the money out as gambling cos there is nothing for sure in this process...and that's a huge stress on me. So I asked him if we could go back to the simpler method that would alleviate the major money stress for me and the cheaper method worked before, just didn't stick for whatever reason we want to blame it on. He's luckily agreed to do that with me.

I am back on Femara. He said now was as good a time to start as any since we have no idea where to put me on a cycle chart. (BTW - in case I hadn't mentioned it previously, I went off the birth control pills early because of the humongously negative effect it had on my moods and overall psyche. It got bad and I got smart and stopped them and the Dr is OK with this...just puts me in a weird chart place now...) I started the Femara last night which I normally would do on Day 3 so we could call this Day 4...since I haven't started I see myself as on Day 31...ugh...I know what days to take the femara and I know what days to start testing for ovulation...I guess that's all that counts.

Gonna go back to no advil, backing down on caffeine, watching my relaxation techniques...all the things I've done in the past but I'm gonna try not to stress...I'm only paying for co-pays (which I don't even know if he'll have me come in for measuring or not...) and the Femara...so that's as low as I can get my money out to get and I'm really OK with that.

On a non-me related issue...I know I'm amazed too...lol...all my good thoughts are going out to a friend who needs em right now. Still keeping my fingers crossed for her...she may have a rough road ahead of her but I'll be here for her either way it goes. Least I will do my best to do so. (See it still had something to do with me...hehe)

Guess that's it for today...