Yeah so...I knew it was coming...tried not to think bout it...and it's coming...not a full on flow yet but enough to tell me the truth. Least I didn't waste any tests this cycle. I'm not calling it CD1 until I see more but damnit all to Hell. I'm tired of it. This was #5 of 6 that I supposedly can do. I'm going to start upping my metformin again tomorrow cos I know that's what the Dr will want to do...cos I'm sure my insulin isn't low enough yet.
The full brunt will hit me when I get home...right now I'm holding it together till 5. I'm just so tired...it's been a year now with no success...well least a year since I last found out I was. I did everything I could this cycle to make sure I wasn't hindering anything and not drive myself batshit crazy.
I had a long conversation with Terri last night bout the process and the Hell that it is and how it's not fair that we have to go through this. It doesn't change the fact that evidently that's what we have to do. I'm just numb right now. Not sure why I chose to write and blog but I did...trying to figure out what I can do differently this next cycle. What I need to avoid and what I need to do. Right now I'm just numb...later I will cry and the anger will roll in...I already feel it creeping in...awesome...55 more minutes at work...hopefully no one will call. I'm gonna try to dive back in my book...see if that can help...
I am looking forward to another conversation with you!! It was great to catch up. I'm here, all by myself, if you feel like talking.
ReplyDeleteThinking about you today