OK...so this week is going about how I expected it to go. It's my bad week hormonally due to my meds right now...If you are in the vicinity of my you know this means me crying for absolutely no freaking reason and then me getting pissed off that I can't control it, so I cry harder, dry up...rinse repeat. Hormones in general can be hard on a woman...but chemically induced hormones on a woman who is not really used to having any at all cos her cycle is so far out of whack...yeah...so my hormones are like an Indy race car to someone that barely knows how to drive. Very very frustrating.
So this week...Monday we took off from working out cos Mike's eye was bothering him pretty bad and I was thinking he'd have to go to the eye doc before the day was through and somehow I think eyes are important for the working out process so you don't get hit or trip over a busy gym. So we canceled and postponed Monday's workout to Tuesday. Not that either of us liked the idea of 3 back to back workouts.
Tuesday...I really shouldn't have gotten out of bed. I knew from the get-go that it was gonna be a bad day. But I had certain things I knew I had to take care of at work yesterday so we came in. Hormones ebbed and flowed all day...just had me in a generally depressed state of mind. By the end of the day I was feeling better and thought I could proceed with working out. We hit Subway for our pre-workout meal and then hit the gym. And I was fine...I thought. Got on a treadmill and didn't even last 20 minutes...I could feel the stupid tears for no reason creeping up on me and I knew I wouldn't be able to stop em. So I told Mike I would be back at 8 to get him but I had to leave. I went and hung out at Nikky's and we chatted and cried and I wasn't forced to hide myself in a bathroom stall to avoid all the concerned glances and questions at the gym. Poor JJ I know was confused why normally Happy Audrey was sitting on his couch crying one minute and laughing the next...he even stopped by to give me a hug to comfort me. That was sweet. So I left there and went and got Mike and we went home where I had to self medicate to get myself calm and not constantly weepy...I HATE weepy.
Today...it's Wednesday...who knows what the rest of the day will bring. I didn't want to get out of bed again this morning and I still say I should be in bed curled up with the blanket over my head and away from people today...but alas, I had more work I knew would have to get done today. So here I am...muddling my way through the day. I managed to not cry while meeting with a student and I'll call that a win...cos it was bubbling up under the surface...again...I just can't completely control this crap. I guess I can a little bit but just not completely.
I want to get back in the habit of working out. I don't want the last week I have with a trainer to be a cop-out week where I don't go at all. It may be how it goes but who knows. I tried to use this blog as a way to reach out to Wade so he'd maybe freaking understand me better but I guess he stopped reading. Mike said it didn't sound like he had taken the time to read it before last night. Oh well. So much for that helping. It does help for me to be able to just vent on here and know someone at least is reading it...even if it's not the trainer who needs to be reading it.
I guess that's it for my whiny report today. I think I'll just move this box and crawl under my desk for the afternoon...if you need me...that's where I'll be till 5.
